Conundrum

Contentment. That’s what I need. I never really know where to go..
or what to want.. Never knew what I needed.
It’s like I want this thing to materialize but when its actually happening…
I run. Bolt. Charge. Fly. Im really flipping out right now.
I cant use that as an excuse. There is no warrant.
I want to be more but at the same time less.
not ready. I am not ready.
I dont want to hurt him… or me?

A dream: A huge tsunami slammed against my body.

 

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Waiting.

1:15 am. Waiting. Read my horoscope today that someone
special would talk to me. “Perhaps rekindling an old flame.”
I instantly thought of you. I know you are there.
Just please. please. talk to me. I love talking to you
as if nothing has changed but I know everything has changed.
It did. We are just too afraid to admit to ourselves that
there is something in there. something special.

Loneliness Is The Worst Kind Of Sadness

Thought Catalog

The worst kind of sadness is loneliness. That empty feeling that wells up inside of you until all of the sudden you realize you’ve been laying in bed, scrolling through their twitter for hours because you miss them so much. It fills you like liquid lead and you feel paralyzed, trapped inside your own body but mostly your head.

People will hear your story and console you but guess what? It’s just not enough. You smile and try to absolutely listen to them and absorb their kind words because you honestly appreciate them and hope they make a difference.

You try to put things in perspective by watching the news or looking at children who are really sick or someone who is suffering more than you. That works for a little and you have a new perspective on things, claiming that this is not the worst that could happen to…

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5 Kinds Of Love You Will Experience In Your Life

Thought Catalog

1. The Love That Would Remind You How Simple It Is To Feel.

The kind of love that would take you back to a boy in your high school halls and how you quietly gush about how cute he is when he smiles and how you write creepy entries on your diary that one day he might drive you home and you’ll get your happy ending. Believe me, this is the purest and the best kind of affection there is.

2. The Love That Changed You.

We can always look back to that one person whose love was either too good or too bad for us that it changed us. They could have showed us how dark abyss could be turned into a whimsical garden or they could have rocked the solid walls that guarded our petty hearts and we crumbled instantly to their feet. And like rubble, they left…

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Blurred Lines

Endless adventures. Getting lost. Wander. Drift-away. Vagabond.
These past few weeks my urge to run away has been satiated.
I adore this formidable and delirious feeling as I wander the streets.
Go to unusual places. Meeting new people. I feel the satisfaction.
The day ends.
I lock myself in my room.
Lay in my bed feeling blue.
My mind begins to wonder.
Maybe.. just maybe.. the reason why I feel the need to move aimlessly
is because deep inside Im lost? and I need someone to find me.